There is a common misconception out there that I want to talk about. Bdsm does not mean SEX. Domme does not mean I provide Escort services. Simple! Most of my submissives will not ever see my naked body let alone ever touch me. Each play partner dynamic has its own set of limits and boundaries and some couples/partners do have Great sexual encounters during their play. Bdsm does not equal sex and Domme does not equal Full service, simple!
The mental aspect of bdsm play is so vital, an integral part of any play. The ability for one to let their mind be free to explore and evolve all natural aspects of what our mind imagines and desires with out judgement or prejudice. That can be accomplished through humiliation, corporal punishment, bondage and thousands of other types of fetish play.
What it is not is: A guise in which to have sex with multiple partners whenever you please. Nor is it a way for which one can use sex for monetary gain. Sadly, many of those ignorant to the lifestyle or those that want to exploit the loyalty of another, purely for physical sexual gratification. Absolutely, sexual under and even overtones may be incorporated in the play (depending on the dynamics) but this is truly not 'the reason for the season".
The ability to open your mind and allow yourself to admit your desires and needs. To trust another to share in this journey is huge. Taking acts, thoughts and insinuations and using them to fuel that ember in your mind. Pushing limits on this kind of play. To expand your thoughts and expand your realm of possibilities. Finding new triggers of mental and physical delight, pain or both. Those ideas and thoughts are the core of bdsm and YES, the result is an open interpretation of what your mind and body enjoys. This great feeling does bring a sexual awareness and desire that should be met with proper planning and communication as to the best mix for each different dynamic.
Most femdommes may agree but I will only speak for myself, Any sub, slave even slut I may own is not worthy of touching me at any price. It is not allowed. I may do acts ( of strong sexual under tones) that invoke feelings of humiliation so severe it drives them wild. Are we seeing the difference?
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
The Goose and The Gander - We DON"T all like the same things, so don't assume anything
The best part about a fetish or playing in the lifestyle is the way we can customize it to fit us perfect! We don't have cookie cutters telling us that we must all enjoy one or the other fetish.
Communication and small doses of new play are the key. Talk to your P/partner, find out what each enjoys, thinks about and wants to try. It should never be about just one of the partners, but there are ways to compromise. If you don't hold any interest in something they are wild to try, maybe its something one can "force" the other to try with another of like desiring the same play (and if you enjoy TPE - IT WORKS FOR BOTH!!) There are many ways to ensure you both get everything possible out of your play time.
Just because you saw a submissive flogged hard and screaming with pleasure, doesn't mean another submissive will enjoy it etc. Remember, there are no rules saying play must include any one specific type of play. Talk, Talk, Talk then try, try, try. The key is to have fun and explore you & your partners desires and needs. That's what this is all about!
Communication and small doses of new play are the key. Talk to your P/partner, find out what each enjoys, thinks about and wants to try. It should never be about just one of the partners, but there are ways to compromise. If you don't hold any interest in something they are wild to try, maybe its something one can "force" the other to try with another of like desiring the same play (and if you enjoy TPE - IT WORKS FOR BOTH!!) There are many ways to ensure you both get everything possible out of your play time.
Just because you saw a submissive flogged hard and screaming with pleasure, doesn't mean another submissive will enjoy it etc. Remember, there are no rules saying play must include any one specific type of play. Talk, Talk, Talk then try, try, try. The key is to have fun and explore you & your partners desires and needs. That's what this is all about!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Tickle me with a Feather = Sensory Play
Sensory Play encompasses and mixes in with most other fetishes to enhance a scene. There are many different ways to use senses in a play scene; whether you are working with soft sensual sensations or erotically pleasure- producing pain; the possibilities are endless.
Sensory play is used from birth on to teach children. Something that powerful, it is not only fun and sexy, it has the ability to be used in training on many levels. Most take for granted what each sense and it's manipulation is capable of doing. If it is studied and practiced to a fine art, it will enhance the experience in such extremes .... it will blow your mind!!
My favorite type of "light" play involves removing all but one or two of the senses used by the human body. Then take the remaining senses and tease, taunt and push the outer limits of them.
Your body is made to take the remaining senses and increase their ability,making up for the un-useable sense. Blindfolds, restraints, ear plugs and gags are the very basic tools you will always find in a players bag.
How many things came to mind while reading this?
Sensory play is used from birth on to teach children. Something that powerful, it is not only fun and sexy, it has the ability to be used in training on many levels. Most take for granted what each sense and it's manipulation is capable of doing. If it is studied and practiced to a fine art, it will enhance the experience in such extremes .... it will blow your mind!!
My favorite type of "light" play involves removing all but one or two of the senses used by the human body. Then take the remaining senses and tease, taunt and push the outer limits of them.
Your body is made to take the remaining senses and increase their ability,making up for the un-useable sense. Blindfolds, restraints, ear plugs and gags are the very basic tools you will always find in a players bag.
How many things came to mind while reading this?
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Mind Play - Does it get any better than this?
Mind play is fascinating, erotic and can be so much damn fun!! It can be integrated into any scene, used in endless manners and at varying degrees.
According to Taormino Tristan in "The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play, and the Erotic Edge" ; there are 3 types of Mind Fucks (I subscribe to his thoughts on the subject). Fear based, Fantasy based and Faith based all take the bottom/sub's thoughts and use it tease, taunt, torment, confuse and control them body, mind and soul.
As a Top/Domme, the idea that my mind alone is capable of completely control my bottom/sub and I can make anything I want occur, is Hot as Hell !!
Yes! Mind Play is my favorite kink!
Monday, December 15, 2014
"Lick My Boots, Worm" ( Humiliation - Part 1 of ?)
Humiliation is a fetish that is consensual and uses psychological humiliation (demeaning) for the excitement and or arousal of the humiliated person, the one humiliating or a even spectator.
It is used frequently in Bdsm and or sexual role-play.
It can be public or private and many times the humiliation does not have to do with a sexual act or body part, though it can.
Whether it is licking someones boot, having someone laugh at your body parts or being called an ass slut - they are all humiliating and forms of that fetish. What is consistent with all humiliation? It's that sinking feeling in your gut and racing heart that rest of the world loathes and avoids. Those into humiliation seek and crave that very sensation, quite often getting immediately aroused.
What takes a bad experience (per the outside worlds view) and makes it into something you desire and crave?
It is used frequently in Bdsm and or sexual role-play.
It can be public or private and many times the humiliation does not have to do with a sexual act or body part, though it can.
Whether it is licking someones boot, having someone laugh at your body parts or being called an ass slut - they are all humiliating and forms of that fetish. What is consistent with all humiliation? It's that sinking feeling in your gut and racing heart that rest of the world loathes and avoids. Those into humiliation seek and crave that very sensation, quite often getting immediately aroused.
What takes a bad experience (per the outside worlds view) and makes it into something you desire and crave?
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Finding Friends and Support to explore your Fetish
Regardless of your fetish, you really need to have others involved on some level to actually enjoy it. That's how we work. The sharing is satisfying and the intimacy enjoyed. If you're in a relationship, it seems obvious that you'd want to share it with your partner but for varied reasons you may not be able to do that (I will get back to that ). If you're single, you may be afraid to share with friends or family for fear of being laughed at or worse - looked at like you're a creep. It's not advised to say "Hi, I'm Krista. I am a Domme and enjoy ....". But there are ways you can learn to connect with others and truly satisfy your needs mentally and physically.
You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are or who you need to be. Yes, I recognize that it goes way beyond wants and thoughts. Deep seated desires become NEEDS, making it more important to express yourself.
If you're in a relationship, approaching your partner in a non-threatening general conversation is a good start to gauge how they will respond. Recognize that if the results are not what you want, they have the same needs and expectations to practice what they are comfortable with. There are many baby steps you can try. This is a whole other topic I will cover in detail on another post.
The single person has it a little bit easier in my book. No, it's not easy to discuss nor is it always easy to find a match with your particular kink. It IS easier to not get into a relationship that can't or won't allow you to practice and evolve as a healthy person. Being honest and open, when the time is appropriate, you have the opportunity to find someone compatible. Don't waste the opportunity out of fear of rejection. If they don't understand, it's not a reflection on you but a reflection of their inabilities. It is much better to know before you find yourself attached and hiding something as important as your mental desires and sexual needs. Those that have partners who don't participate can vouch to this.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, whether you are open with friend and family or decide to keep it a secret (not what I advise but each person is different) .... There are a lot of different groups out there that help you understand & explore your needs and desires. Some are social groups while others play together too. There are both real life and online groups. I personally enjoy both. Don't be afraid to try different groups. You can talk through a variety of mediums using the Internet until you're ready to meet like minded people.
I belong to several groups both online and real life. I enjoy open conversations both with people that share my kinks and others I dont. It's nice to have people to talk to and share your thoughts, ideas and desires with. The more you talk to others with in the lifestyle, the more you realize YOU ARE VERY "NORMAL". When you're able to go to functions and events with other adults, the more you are able to get in tune with yourself and your needs. Eventually you will find others that share your needs and desires and have that connection that allows for play.
Many people within the lifestyle only practice at home, in private. That's ok too. Whatever works for you, it is ok, normal. We don't have to conform to the old society standards. We can explore and evolve in the manner that suits us best! Don't deny yourself!! You deserve to seek out what you need and receive it. (Don't get me wrong - there are still right and wrong ways to do things and protocols to follow).
Go online and search the Internet. Look for what's best suited for you. Bdsm isn't all porn, blood and heathens. It's the every day average guy and gal. From housewife to CEO, grandpa to barely legal - we are all human with desires and needs. ITS OK!!! There is no shame in having urges that society hasn't talked about and your parents did not teach you. The healthiest person is the one that is honest with him/herself and seeks to understand and enjoy the beautiful , sexy person they are !!
There are many alternatives to fulfill your needs from the ones listed below to finding a good professional in the lifestyle. We go to doctors when we want to stay healthy physically. We have people dig through our mouths and examine our bodies in order to feel good and enjoy life. Why is it a far stretch to imagine using a professional in the lifestyle? Just like Doctors, Lawyers and School teachers; they meet your needs and are very good at what they do. It's just makes sense to seek out the same for our mental and physical health concerning our needs sexually.
Whatever route you choose, or if you choose several, take care of yourself. Weird is the new norm. We should not want to be like everyone else! We are beautiful in our uniqueness and need not worry what others think. Finding the right support for you in all areas of your life only enhances it. It is not a weak person that acknowledges their needs, shortcomings & individuality then celebrates it!!! This helps make you content in your honesty with yourself. This is the strongest type of person out there.
Be free. Seek what you need. Have no shame because we all have desires.
Next Im going to discuss my biggest need, My kink I Cant live without.
I can't wait to share and even explain how it came to be. Not that the root of desire is the most important aspect in all cases but understanding helps you evolve and explore, digging deeper and expanding your limits.
Until the whip cracks again,
Goddess Krista
You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are or who you need to be. Yes, I recognize that it goes way beyond wants and thoughts. Deep seated desires become NEEDS, making it more important to express yourself.
If you're in a relationship, approaching your partner in a non-threatening general conversation is a good start to gauge how they will respond. Recognize that if the results are not what you want, they have the same needs and expectations to practice what they are comfortable with. There are many baby steps you can try. This is a whole other topic I will cover in detail on another post.
The single person has it a little bit easier in my book. No, it's not easy to discuss nor is it always easy to find a match with your particular kink. It IS easier to not get into a relationship that can't or won't allow you to practice and evolve as a healthy person. Being honest and open, when the time is appropriate, you have the opportunity to find someone compatible. Don't waste the opportunity out of fear of rejection. If they don't understand, it's not a reflection on you but a reflection of their inabilities. It is much better to know before you find yourself attached and hiding something as important as your mental desires and sexual needs. Those that have partners who don't participate can vouch to this.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, whether you are open with friend and family or decide to keep it a secret (not what I advise but each person is different) .... There are a lot of different groups out there that help you understand & explore your needs and desires. Some are social groups while others play together too. There are both real life and online groups. I personally enjoy both. Don't be afraid to try different groups. You can talk through a variety of mediums using the Internet until you're ready to meet like minded people.
I belong to several groups both online and real life. I enjoy open conversations both with people that share my kinks and others I dont. It's nice to have people to talk to and share your thoughts, ideas and desires with. The more you talk to others with in the lifestyle, the more you realize YOU ARE VERY "NORMAL". When you're able to go to functions and events with other adults, the more you are able to get in tune with yourself and your needs. Eventually you will find others that share your needs and desires and have that connection that allows for play.
Many people within the lifestyle only practice at home, in private. That's ok too. Whatever works for you, it is ok, normal. We don't have to conform to the old society standards. We can explore and evolve in the manner that suits us best! Don't deny yourself!! You deserve to seek out what you need and receive it. (Don't get me wrong - there are still right and wrong ways to do things and protocols to follow).
Go online and search the Internet. Look for what's best suited for you. Bdsm isn't all porn, blood and heathens. It's the every day average guy and gal. From housewife to CEO, grandpa to barely legal - we are all human with desires and needs. ITS OK!!! There is no shame in having urges that society hasn't talked about and your parents did not teach you. The healthiest person is the one that is honest with him/herself and seeks to understand and enjoy the beautiful , sexy person they are !!
There are many alternatives to fulfill your needs from the ones listed below to finding a good professional in the lifestyle. We go to doctors when we want to stay healthy physically. We have people dig through our mouths and examine our bodies in order to feel good and enjoy life. Why is it a far stretch to imagine using a professional in the lifestyle? Just like Doctors, Lawyers and School teachers; they meet your needs and are very good at what they do. It's just makes sense to seek out the same for our mental and physical health concerning our needs sexually.
Whatever route you choose, or if you choose several, take care of yourself. Weird is the new norm. We should not want to be like everyone else! We are beautiful in our uniqueness and need not worry what others think. Finding the right support for you in all areas of your life only enhances it. It is not a weak person that acknowledges their needs, shortcomings & individuality then celebrates it!!! This helps make you content in your honesty with yourself. This is the strongest type of person out there.
Be free. Seek what you need. Have no shame because we all have desires.
Next Im going to discuss my biggest need, My kink I Cant live without.
I can't wait to share and even explain how it came to be. Not that the root of desire is the most important aspect in all cases but understanding helps you evolve and explore, digging deeper and expanding your limits.
Until the whip cracks again,
Goddess Krista
Am I NORMAL?
Bdsm. The word can bring fear, excitement, smiles and tears. Those that aren't familiar with it mock, even hate it. But to those that dare at least explore it, it can bring such joy and a sense of completion.
I love it! It is like most things in life, it should be studied and the crafts honed. Many of the different fetishes can be dangerous if practiced irresponsibly.
There are thousands of different fetishes, labels and terms that are used amongst those that are in the lifestyle. In my writing Im going to assume (ughh) that anyone reading my posts has basic knowledge and use lingo accordingly.
I want to explore different aspects of the lifestyle and what it is that draws us to it. What we get from practicing and living the lifestyle. While there is a strict protocol on the manner of acting respectfully that should be followed by all, each fetish is has very loose guidelines and each person has their own version of how they enjoy it. There is a creative license used in which we make it our own. I will from time to time touch on these differences. The one common factor in Bdsm is the mental aspect that brings us such pleasure.
One thing I constantly hear asked across the board is "is this weird?" Or "am I twisted/sick?" The answer is NO!! Our brains are wired in such a way that, for a variety of reasons, what we were raised to believe are illogical behaviors or thoughts that society doesn't recognize as normal EXCITE THE HELL OUT OF US! We feel like if it isn't something we were raised to believe was "normal", then we must be weird. To hell with those two words. Who defines normal and weird. We are all beautiful people in our own way. We seek out our needs and desires. We are brave enough to seek what it is that we need. That journey isn't always easy. But the rewards are a healthy perspective on what we want and need.
The psychology of it all is intriguing. Knowledge is power and to understand why we want it, need it, is priceless. I believe that following through with what you need emotionally and physically is healthy and wish to help others explore it.
So look out for a broad range of subjects to come across from my posts. Even those fetishes that I don't personally care for, I respect the right of others to practice and enjoy the "why" of it all. I think you will too !
Goddess Krista
I love it! It is like most things in life, it should be studied and the crafts honed. Many of the different fetishes can be dangerous if practiced irresponsibly.
There are thousands of different fetishes, labels and terms that are used amongst those that are in the lifestyle. In my writing Im going to assume (ughh) that anyone reading my posts has basic knowledge and use lingo accordingly.
I want to explore different aspects of the lifestyle and what it is that draws us to it. What we get from practicing and living the lifestyle. While there is a strict protocol on the manner of acting respectfully that should be followed by all, each fetish is has very loose guidelines and each person has their own version of how they enjoy it. There is a creative license used in which we make it our own. I will from time to time touch on these differences. The one common factor in Bdsm is the mental aspect that brings us such pleasure.
One thing I constantly hear asked across the board is "is this weird?" Or "am I twisted/sick?" The answer is NO!! Our brains are wired in such a way that, for a variety of reasons, what we were raised to believe are illogical behaviors or thoughts that society doesn't recognize as normal EXCITE THE HELL OUT OF US! We feel like if it isn't something we were raised to believe was "normal", then we must be weird. To hell with those two words. Who defines normal and weird. We are all beautiful people in our own way. We seek out our needs and desires. We are brave enough to seek what it is that we need. That journey isn't always easy. But the rewards are a healthy perspective on what we want and need.
The psychology of it all is intriguing. Knowledge is power and to understand why we want it, need it, is priceless. I believe that following through with what you need emotionally and physically is healthy and wish to help others explore it.
So look out for a broad range of subjects to come across from my posts. Even those fetishes that I don't personally care for, I respect the right of others to practice and enjoy the "why" of it all. I think you will too !
Goddess Krista
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