Finding Friends and Support to explore your Fetish

Regardless of your fetish, you really need to have others involved on some level to actually enjoy it. That's how we work. The sharing is satisfying and the intimacy enjoyed. If you're in a relationship, it seems obvious that you'd want to share it with your partner but for varied reasons you may not be able to do that (I will get back to that ).  If you're single, you may be afraid to share with friends or family for fear of being laughed at or worse - looked at like you're a creep. It's not advised to say "Hi, I'm Krista. I am a Domme and enjoy ....". But there are ways you can learn to connect with others and truly satisfy your needs mentally and physically.

You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are or who you need to be. Yes, I recognize that it goes way beyond wants and thoughts. Deep seated desires become NEEDS, making it more important to express yourself.

If you're in a relationship, approaching your partner in a non-threatening general conversation is a good start to gauge how they will respond. Recognize that if the results are not what you want, they have the same needs and expectations to practice what they are comfortable with. There are many baby steps you can try. This is a whole other topic I will cover in detail on another post.

The single person has it a little bit easier in my book. No, it's not easy to discuss nor is it always easy to find a match with your particular kink. It IS easier to not get into a relationship that can't or won't allow you to practice and evolve as a healthy person. Being honest and open, when the time is appropriate, you have the opportunity to find someone compatible. Don't waste the opportunity out of fear of rejection. If they don't understand, it's not a reflection on you but a reflection of their inabilities. It is much better to know before you find yourself attached and hiding something as important as your mental desires and sexual needs. Those that have partners who don't participate can vouch to this.

Whether you are single or in a relationship, whether you are open with friend and family or decide to keep it a secret (not what I advise but each person is different) .... There are a lot of different groups out there that help you understand & explore your needs and desires. Some are social groups while others play together too. There are both real life and online groups. I personally enjoy both. Don't be afraid to try different groups. You can talk through a variety of mediums using the Internet until you're ready to meet like minded people.

I belong to several groups both online and real life. I enjoy open conversations both with people that share my kinks and others I dont. It's nice to have people to talk to and share your thoughts, ideas and desires with. The more you talk to others with in the lifestyle, the more you realize YOU ARE VERY "NORMAL". When you're able to go to functions and events with other adults, the more you are able to get in tune with yourself and your needs.  Eventually you will find others that share your needs and desires and have that connection that allows for play.

Many people within the lifestyle only practice at home, in private. That's ok too. Whatever works for you, it is ok, normal. We don't have to conform to the old society standards. We can explore and evolve in the manner that suits us best! Don't deny yourself!! You deserve to seek out what you need and receive it. (Don't get me wrong - there are still right and wrong ways to do things and protocols to follow).

Go online and search the Internet. Look for what's best suited for you. Bdsm isn't all porn, blood and heathens. It's the every day average guy and gal. From housewife to CEO, grandpa to barely legal - we are all human with desires and needs. ITS OK!!! There is no shame in having urges that society hasn't talked about and your parents did not teach you. The healthiest person is the one that is honest with him/herself and seeks to understand and enjoy the beautiful , sexy person they are !!

There are many alternatives to fulfill your needs from the ones listed below to finding a good professional in the lifestyle. We go to doctors when we want to stay healthy physically. We have people dig through our mouths and examine our bodies in order to feel good and enjoy life. Why is it a far stretch to imagine using a professional in the lifestyle? Just like Doctors, Lawyers and School teachers; they meet your needs and are very good at what they do. It's just makes sense to seek out the same for our mental and physical health concerning our needs sexually.

Whatever route you choose, or if you choose several, take care of yourself. Weird is the new norm. We should not want to be like everyone else! We are beautiful in our uniqueness and need not worry what others think. Finding the right support for you in all areas of your life only enhances it. It is not a weak person that acknowledges their needs, shortcomings & individuality then celebrates it!!! This helps make you content in your honesty with yourself. This is the strongest type of person out there.

Be free. Seek what you need. Have no shame because we all have desires.
Next Im going to discuss my biggest need, My kink I Cant live without.
I can't wait to share and even explain how it came to be. Not that the root of desire is the most important aspect in all cases but understanding helps you evolve and explore, digging deeper and expanding your limits.

Until the whip cracks again,
Goddess Krista